Sunday, April 8, 2018

Three Strikes, You're Dead - Guest Post

Today I'm turning the blog over to Iz. You can find Iz on the pages of the Eddie Shoes Mystery series by Elena Hartwell. THREE STRIKES, YOU'RE DEAD is the third book in the series and was released April 1st.

With A Little Help From Our Friends…
By Elena Hartwell

Hey, Eddie, are you there? It’s me Iz. You know … your best friend! The person always looking out for you. Are you there? I know you like to sit at your desk and listen to callers on your old-fashioned answering machine. Pick up would you? No? Okay. I’ll just leave you a little message.

Don’t get mad when you hear what I have to say. I know you think you’re this tough, lone-wolf private eye. I get it. And I also know you’re holding out hope that something is going to blossom again between you and the oh-so-handsome homicide detective Chance Parker. But unless one of you stops being such a scaredy-cat, it’s never going to happen.

So I did it for you.

I wrote up a personal ad in your name and I’m going to put it on Craig’s List. That’s right, girl, Craig’s List. And I’m including my email, not yours, so I’m going to set you up with someone if you don’t ask Chance out on an honest-to-god date. One way or another, you are getting back out there on the dating scene. Unless you want me sending some poor guy to meet you at your office, you better shape up.

You probably want to know what I wrote for you. I’m so glad you asked. Here’s what it says: “Independent female seeks an independent male for casual fun.” See, that’s not so bad, right? I didn’t say you were out looking for a husband or anything serious. Here’s the rest. “I’m a small business owner and I work hard, but on my down time I like exploring new restaurants, going to movies, and taking walks with my dog.” Like how I worked Franklin in there? I know you won’t date a guy who isn’t a dog lover. Then I said, “I’m up for any adventure.” I put the age range you’re interested in as thirty to fifty and I said you’re open to any race or ethnicity. Lastly, I described you as tall and physically active.

So here’s the deal. You ask Chance out on a date. Not coffee. Not a casual “I-ran-into-him-on-the-street-and-had-a-meal.” You have to actually call him and say “Chance, would you like to have dinner with me?” Or the ad goes live.

Don’t think I’m joking Eddie. This whole moping around after your gorgeous detective has got to stop. He mopes about you, you mope about him. Chava and I decided enough was enough.

Oh …. Oops. I wasn’t supposed to mention Chava. All right, you caught us. This was Chava’s idea. Please don’t tell her I told you that. Your mother is way scarier than you will ever be.

But she’s got your best interests at heart you know. She loves you and she hates seeing you unhappy. I know she’s not the best role model for domestic bliss, a string of divorces and getting married in various Elvis chapels in Las Vegas isn’t exactly a recipe for long lasting love, but I think she sees what the rest of us see, that you and Chance are perfect for each other. Debbie agreed with us completely when we got together at the bookstore to write the ad.

Oh … Oops. Please don’t tell Debbie I said that. You aren’t supposed to know she was in on this too. We had decided to tell you this was all my idea so you would only be mad at one of us … this is why I hate answering machines. I should have waited and told you in person. I wish I knew your code, I’d call back and erase this.

But too late now. Okay, don’t be mad at Debbie. She loves you. You know she thinks of you like one of her kids. She’s been alone a long time herself and she knows how nice it would be to have someone to go out with, even on a casual basis. You know … someone to have dinner with or hang out on a Sunday afternoon. Chava said the same thing.

All right, since I already blew the whole this was all my idea thing, I might as well tell you the whole story. All three of us are putting personal ads out. That’s right. Even me. I know I always seem to have an exciting love life, but it’s not really all that great. It’s so hard to meet people these days. So we got together to write an ad for you and ended up writing ads for ourselves too.

So jump on our bandwagon, Eddie! Either ask Chance out or join us on this crazy online dating scheme. I was joking about Craig’s List. We’re going to go a little bit more upscale. We thought we’d try Match dot com. And we’re signing you up too.

Call me back and let me know what you’re going to do. Chance or Match dot com. But whatever you do, please don’t tell Chava I ratted her out. She’ll kill me.

Just be glad we aren’t signing you up for Tinder.

Gotta run. Love you, Chat soon.


Three Strikes, You're Dead (Eddie Shoes Mystery) by Elena Hartwell

About the Book

Cozy Mystery 3rd in Series  
Camel Press (April 1, 2018) Paperback: 288 pages 
Private investigator Eddie Shoes heads to a resort outside Leavenworth, Washington, for a mother-daughter getaway weekend. Eddie's mother Chava wants to celebrate her new job at a casino by footing the bill for the two of them, and who is Eddie to say no? On the first morning, Eddie goes on an easy solo hike, and a few hours later, stumbles upon a makeshift campsite and a gravely injured man. A forest fire breaks out and she struggles to save him before the flames overcome them both. Before succumbing to his injuries, the man hands her a valuable rosary. He tells her his daughter is missing and begs for her help. Is Eddie now working for a dead man? Barely escaping the fire, Eddie wakes in the hospital to find both her parents have arrived on the scene. Will Eddie's card-counting mother and mob-connected father help or hinder the investigation? The police search in vain for a body. How will Eddie find the missing girl with only Eddie's memory of the man's face and a photo of his daughter to go on?

About the Author

After twenty years in the theater, Elena Hartwell turned her dramatic skills to fiction. Her first novel, One Dead, Two to Go introduces Eddie Shoes, private eye. Called “the most fun detective since Richard Castle stumbled into the 12th precinct,” by author Peter Clines, I’DTale Magazine stated, “this quirky combination of a mother-daughter reunion turned crime-fighting duo will captivate readers.” In addition to her work as a novelist, Elena teaches playwriting at Bellevue College and tours the country to lead writing workshops. When she’s not writing or teaching, her favorite place to be is at the farm with her horses, Jasper and Radar, or at her home, on the middle fork of the Snoqualmie River in North Bend, Washington, with her husband, their dog, Polar, and their trio of cats, Jackson, Coal Train, and Luna, aka, “the other cat upstairs.” Elena holds a B.A. from the University of San Diego, a M.Ed. from the University of Washington, Tacoma, and a Ph.D. from the University of Georgia.  

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