Me and Good Ol’ Chuck
If Charlie Brown were a real person, he would be me. I’ve spent
my entire life being the weird round-headed kid who gets the football ripped
away just as she is finally going to kick it. Okay, if I am being completely
truthful here, I have never tried to kick a football, so in that way I’m not
like Charlie Brown, but I do have an abnormally large head, so I think it’s
still safe to say that good ol’ Chuck and I are kindred spirits.
No matter how hard I try, I always seem to be the odd girl out.
My earliest recollections are of not fitting in. When I was in elementary
school, my class got a special treat: two fitness experts came to our school
and taught us about exercise using a huge rainbow parachute and a giant ball
that resembled the Earth. Now, this being sometime in the early 1980s, the two
“fitness experts” were a couple of guys wearing yellow short shorts with
rainbow suspenders and sporting Magnum P.I. mustaches. Looking back now, I’m
fairly certain they had also done their best Cheech and Chong impression in the
VW van that they illegally parked in front of the school.
A multi-colored parachute, a huge earth ball, and two stoned
guys—the exact recipe for a really great day. Every kid in my class giggled
with unbridled excitement. But not me. I watched as the other kids ran under
the parachute and laughed uncontrollably. I knew I was the odd man out, just
standing there with my big head, wondering how anyone could perceive any of
this as fun.
When it was my turn to run under the parachute, I decided I
needed to at least try to fit in, so I ran with the reckless abandon of an
overly-analytical eight-year-old desperately searching for the joy that lay
within that shabby parachute. I ran with all my might as the class lifted up
the expanse of rainbow-colored fabric, but I wasn’t fast enough. Every other
kid made it under the parachute before it floated back down. But I got
clothes-lined and knocked flat on my back, gasping for air.
Since it was the 1980s, no medical treatment was given, no forms
filled out in triplicate. It was just me dusting myself off and wondering how
in the world I was the only one who got taken out by that renegade parachute
while thirty first graders and two grown men laughed at me.
That’s why I sympathize with good ol’ Chuck when he falls flat
on his back trying to kick the football. No one escapes childhood unscathed.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
More Tales from Suburbia: Yes, It Gets Even Crazier
by Brandi Haas
Official Synopsis:
Life in the suburbs ain’t easy. Squeezing into those tiny chairs on the back-to-school night. Finding the beloved pet fish floating at the top of his bowl. Planning a romantic evening –only to fall asleep on the couch with your honey.
Lucky for us, we’ve got Brandi Haas to make us laugh. As the author of the popular blog “Tales from Suburbia,” Brandi tackles the big issues of our day—like whether to pay six bucks to valet park or search for a spot and walk ten blocks to the restaurant. Her stories about the daily absurdities of life will make you laugh out loud.
Heartfelt and seriously funny, More Tales from Suburbia: Yes, It Gets Even Crazier is like sharing a bottle of wine and conversation with your best girlfriend.
Thank you so much for featuring me today!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this delightful feature and giveaway. Brandi Haas is very creative, talented and the book sounds entertaining and unique. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteLooks like fun, Thanks for the opportunity.
ReplyDelete"More Tales from Suburbia" sounds like an amusing read. Looking forward to reading the book.
ReplyDelete"More Tales from Suburbia" sounds like an amusing read. Looking forward to reading the book.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds funny. Thanks for the giveaway.
ReplyDeleteThank you for introducing me to More Tales from Suburbia. Looks and sounds very funny.
ReplyDeleteWhat a delightful post. Reminded me of me trying to limbo - the only one who couldn't bend that way, awkward fall, stunned teens looking at me. Oh well. I need to read this! And great giveaway, thanks.
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much for your kind words!
ReplyDelete"More Tales from Suburbia" sounds like a fun read.
ReplyDelete